Dude. Looking at my last journal entry, I haven't done anything in a while. I guess I've just fallen off the train. But just like with Harry Potter fan fiction, I'm getting back up. I just have to pay attention. I feel bad for my mom, she's gonna want that concerta left over from the school year. Just kidding.

So what has been going on with me in the year or two since I last seriously paid attention. I got held back a grade (finally) for two classes that are my worst, made up one, still behind on the other. I had a change in schools, I stop talking to alot of people, which proved that we weren't even friends to begin with. I made new friends. I lost old friends. I blew up at my mom for everything I was angry at her about and I wanted to leave (I still do--so I need to find a job, quick). My mom got engaged(in a haste, if you ask me. they argue alot, which is my new reason for wanting to leave.)I was going to a therapist for a while, but that ended with the medicaid. I got into KPop, hard. I fell in love with Manchester United, Real Madrid, Chelsea FC, Inter Milan and with Cristiano Ronaldo (I am glad to hear that he's only friends with Paris Hilton. He can do better. Actually he has.) I fell in and then out of love with an army boy (we never dated--which was good), and then settled for being friends (or at least trying to be--failed attempt). I felt the walls close in on me when he and all my other senior friends graduated this year and realized that even with my one setback, that I was next, and that though I am ready, I am unprepared to join the adult world. But I'm working on it and I'm getting in that mindset, though I have no idea how I'm going to get into college or university--although i'm certain that I don't want to stay in America if I do. I want to get in to University of Paris or any Grande Ecole in France or hopefully an English school. I realized that while I like to cook, I love to write, so I want to be a writer. A, broke, constantly traveling, never-settling-down-until-i'm-good-and-ready type novelist, but a novelist, none the less. I realize that I am an angry person. It doesn't take much to set me off. I am, however, working on it. I have slowed down on the expletives (although 'fuck' is still my favorite one). I: dislike Miley Cyrus on the whole, never want to hear the Jonas brothers talk and only watch their show for the stupidness, like Demi Lovato and think that she's a great singer but needs to get away from the Disney machine and exploit her dark side (yeah, I said it! She's not so goody-two-shoes, she can drop an expletive or two!),think Selena Gomez is pretty but shouldn't ever sing--acting is her specialty, all though I would like to see her in a variety of roles not just the cutesy/poor/insecure tomboy. I am re-discovering my love of country music.

A lot has happened to me in the last two years. In some ways, i'm still a silly twelve year old and in other ways i've grown up alot. I can tackle whatever life throws at me next. I'm afraid, but I can do it, and I'm GOING to do it.